idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
