and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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