Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dear god my vagina.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
