i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to make a zoo with you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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