Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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