you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
