You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This is classic penis vs brain.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
