I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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