In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
