Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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