I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
