I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
4 words: hood of his car
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
