What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
id be glad to
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
