I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
