My girlfriend figured out who you are.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
