Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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