I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
