you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
