so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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