You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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