How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
