I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
