Umm I'm too high to move.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
