I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
