please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
