I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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