you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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