weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i now understand why vodka
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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