I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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