just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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