Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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