dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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