that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
