Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
