Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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