dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
