Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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