worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just high enough for therapy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
