she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
now i know why i became what i already was.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
