didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
