I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
