So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
