trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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