There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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