Dual....:-)
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
