I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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