"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
