I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
