She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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