Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
